Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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