Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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