I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
