So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
