It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
