So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
