Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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