This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
