I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
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