Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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