she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
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