My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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