you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Randomize
