A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
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That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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