I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
