Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
