So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
