they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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