Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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