I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
