READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Randomize
