Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
