these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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