Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
