it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
