I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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