Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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