My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
