Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
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