Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
