1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
