i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
