I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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