Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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