Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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