also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
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