i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Come see our sink grown plant.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
