Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
