Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
