So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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