I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
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Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
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I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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