dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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