i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
