yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
