We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
