I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
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