Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Randomize
