just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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