Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Randomize
