Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
