Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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