OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
