She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
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I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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