Who did Billy Mays play for?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
two words...techno handjob
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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