i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
