grandma shit on top of the toilet
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
