HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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