Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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