sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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