Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize
