found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Randomize
