you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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