A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
there was a trapeze. enough said
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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