There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
We left an ass print on the piano.
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Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
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