this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize