I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Randomize
