i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
