butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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