So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
